Thursday, April 4, 2013
In my last post (28 weeks) I wrote that my epiphany of the week was that baby girl and I had something in common. We are both children #2. I went on to talk about some things that my older sister got but I didn't. However, I failed to mention all the things my parents did do for me (the list is so massive, I couldn't even begin to write half of them). I hope if you have read my blog for any length of time you realize just how much my parents mean to me and how grateful I am for them. Never, ever have I wondered whether my parents love my sister more or favor her over me. They did a great job with raising us both with love and support. I am sorry if my post made me come across ungrateful or just plain made my parents look bad (which was NOT my intention).
I think that maybe I have been feeling some guilt lately because I haven't done nearly as much in preparation for baby girl as I did with Eli (at this point in pregnancy) and maybe I was looking for some excuse for why I haven't. I am being honest when I say that as I was writing my "epiphany" I was chuckling a little and felt like I was being more funny than anything. But, and, here is the catch anytime time your write your feelings out -- they can easily be misinterpreted because people can't hear your voice. And, after I read it a couple of times I can see how it came across in a way I hadn't intended. I am truly sorry for that because the love and respect I have for my mom and dad is so great.
I try to be real in my blog posts. Often, I look back after posting and think, should I have written that? I'll admit that sometimes I go back and delete stuff but most of the time I leave it because as I grow and learn I like to re-read my posts and evaluate my journey as a mother, wife and friend.
I thank everyone who has been honest with me about my posts. And, for your love and support even when it is clear I am far from perfect.
-- Alison, loved and cherished daughter #2
Posted by Alison Stephens at 6:00 AM